Messy Situation Aficionado Gifts

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

'You could say this is how my husband and I support local arts.'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

'How do I know your ours?'

'You're honoured, Mr. Coombes - He won't do that for just anyone!'

'I'm all about quantity.'

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

'We were mud wrestling.'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

'Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but with Jimmy it's next to impossible.'

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'You're not what we hand in mind when we advertised for a new organist.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

"No, it's not burglars dear, it's only Samantha looking for the chocolate biscuits!"

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

'I didn't hear about any oil spill on the news!'

Stamped

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

Dr. Miska: Eye, Ear, Nose and Embarrassing Bodily Functions.

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

'Anyone can arrange a blind date, only truly great ones can arrange a whole relationship.'