Messy Lifestyle Realist Gifts

Buy a dog - the ideal pet for those too busy to mess up they homes themselves.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"You are still here."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"We grind our own catnip."

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

Bulltoon: Insatiabull.

No crawling sign in the desert.

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

"I'm still thirsty. Maybe I've got leaky gut syndrome."

"Clyde, I can't find my pink dress anywherrrr..."

'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'

"Ninety percent of household dust is dried flaky skin."

Obesity: Mechanical & Biological.

'You've had mates around - this place is a tip!'

"Phil suddenly decided to give up everything that was bad for him-no more smoking, drinking, or junk food-and he feels absolutely terrific!"

'It's a midlife crisis - he doesn't know anyone with a vacation home that he can mooch off.'

The Land Of Milk And Honey: Day 1

"One day, son, all this will belong to the youngest woman willing to make her body my playground."

"I love what you've done with your place."

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

'This appliance will replace that other appliance which replaced all those original appliances.'

'This is the life - false friends, artificial stimulation,vicarious sex...'

Lemming Limo

La Vie en Beige

Otter

"Actually my childhood was quite dull. I've tended to look upon now as my formative years."

"When people tell me to have a great day I wish they'd let the day know."

"Maybe we should watch it a bit less?"