Messy Lifestyle Realist T-Shirts

Buy a dog - the ideal pet for those too busy to mess up they homes themselves.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Turtle Trailer Court

"You are still here."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

"We grind our own catnip."

No crawling sign in the desert.

Bulltoon: Insatiabull.

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Proverbs for Real Life. When one door closes it's probably locked and your key is on the other side.

"I'm still thirsty. Maybe I've got leaky gut syndrome."

"Clyde, I can't find my pink dress anywherrrr..."

'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'

"Ninety percent of household dust is dried flaky skin."

Obesity: Mechanical & Biological.

'You've had mates around - this place is a tip!'

'It's a midlife crisis - he doesn't know anyone with a vacation home that he can mooch off.'

"Phil suddenly decided to give up everything that was bad for him-no more smoking, drinking, or junk food-and he feels absolutely terrific!"

The Land Of Milk And Honey: Day 1

"One day, son, all this will belong to the youngest woman willing to make her body my playground."

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

"I love what you've done with your place."

'This is the life - false friends, artificial stimulation,vicarious sex...'

'This appliance will replace that other appliance which replaced all those original appliances.'

Lemming Limo

He loved the beach.

La Vie en Beige

Otter

"Actually my childhood was quite dull. I've tended to look upon now as my formative years."

"Maybe we should watch it a bit less?"