Menu Deliberator Gifts

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"You owe me five bucks."

"Is the MSG local?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

Supreme Court Crunch

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'The biochemist at work' The biochemist at lunch'.

"Delivery."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chops

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

'It looks like you need to eat a more balanced diet!'

Robert Frost. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..." And that was before they had GPS's!

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'