Menu Evaluator Gifts

"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Is the MSG local?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Fast Food Menu Selections

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

Coffee Menu

"....and hold the garlic."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Whatever he's eating.'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."