Menu Decider Gifts

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Coffee

'Whatever he's eating.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee Menu

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

'Physical or Social Science?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

Heart Disease Menu

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

What's the insect de jour?