Menu Reader Gifts

Try our frogs' legs

A menu with risks and benefits

Fish sees menu on the end of a fisherman's line.

What is an expert?

'How are the job opportunities here tonight?'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

'May I take your disorder?'

What's the insect de jour?

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'How would you like that veggieburger...deep fried in lard, or smothered with bacon bits or salami slices?'

"It's a new regulation - we now have to show you a list of the things we don't serve."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Fast Food Menu Selections

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."