Menu Mediator Gifts

"I'm your waiter and a vegetarian. Let's try to do this without anyone getting hurt"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is the MSG local?"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Party time.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

National Coffee Day

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Physical or Social Science?'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

What's the insect de jour?

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

A menu with risks and benefits

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

Uh