Mental State Navigators T-Shirts

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Surfing the daily stress

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

The Map of the Human Heart

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"But what if this is all there is?"

The Wishing Well

'Do you want to reschedule? Normally he has a magnetic personality, but today he seems to have reversed polarity.'

'He's never there for me.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Watch your step, counselor; I can go from zero to bitch in 3.2 seconds.'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

"You're sucking all the fun out of my misery."

You're bottling things up, aren't you?

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

'Yes, he's neurotic - It's a common condition with neurologists.'

"People can bridge the great distance between the Earth and the Moon..."

Florist.

"I get the feeling you're still keeping a lot of yourself inside."

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

STRIP *Community Care * Office rage"

"You seem very remote."

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

"You were always my favorite to guilt-trip."

Question man

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

"We may have the same ringtone, Kenneth, but they're in totally different keys."

"He doesn't have a single redeeming quality, he's just disrupting and awful and repulsive, and he has no consideration for other people's feelings."