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'Each career accomplishment makes me afraid of becoming overqualified.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"But what if this is all there is?"

I applied for a job with NASA but they turned me down. I think it was because I told them I wanted to be an astronaut because in space, you can't cry because there's no gravity and tears can't flow.

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"You're sucking all the fun out of my misery."

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

Caption Contest TK

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

"Yes, you've mentioned this 'Facebook' in the past—tell me, is 'Facebook' saying anything right now?"

'I'm a billionaire, but I think like a millionaire.'

So, when did I realize I was a control freak, doc?…

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

Just one of the many ways self-help books can improve people's lives.

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

'My therapist cured me of using humour as a defence, these days I pack a .45.'

"One coping mechanism I suggest to deal with uncertain times is to eat as much as you can, gain a lot of weight, and then go have a nap for six months or so."

"This sense of remorse... should I be concerned?"

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"I know it's tempting but please don't pigeonhole me."

'The first step was admitting I didn't really have a problem.'