Meditative Master Gifts

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

'Now, the first thing is for you to extinguish your ego.' 'What? -- little old me?'

'I admire your spirit, but enlightenment isn't the sort of thing you hustle for.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Surfing the daily stress

Be Healthy

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

Fight or Flight

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Try thinking about something else."

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Oh, crap.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Yoga classes door.

Cactus seats.

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Stressed over time management

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Meditation

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

"Showoff"