Meditation Master Gifts

All we have in life is this moment...

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

Burned out doctor has a 'break glass in case of burnout' kit in her office.

"Can you be in the moment later?"

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

Working from OM

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

'Birthdays are like life...the more you have, the more illuminated you become.'

'I can't shake off the feeling that you're more enlightened than I am.'

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

"I could sit here all day thinking about my problems."

'Is that the purpose of life?'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'I'm sorry, but for that kind of money I really can't help you work on yourself.'

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

Mantra For 2022

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Yogi back in 5.

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"I'm not meditating. I just haven't had my coffee yet."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more.'

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

"Enlightenment is nice, but is it worth the commute?"

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

Know thyself! This Means You!

'Please... no silly questions.'

"Be mindful of the pennies and the pounds will be mindful of themselves."

'It's called lateral thinking.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Monk's Muffler Shoppe.

"I'm feeling better about the holidays now that I've found the right mix of yoga, meditation and mood stabilizing drugs."