Meditation Teacher Gifts

"Mom?"

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

All we have in life is this moment...

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'The wisdom of life is to grow older in a warm climate.'

Working from OM

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

'Yep, I'm alone.'

Dot Om.

'One day, there will be world peace...in the meantime, you may want to step away from the fan.'

'Are you meditating or fantasizing?'

"None of this seems to be doing me any good at all!"

"I'd read so much about it beforehand that I couldn't help being disappointed when I actually became enlightened."

Virtual reality guru.

Yoga Cow

'I'm going to start living entirely in the now. From tomorrow.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

'Have you been working out?'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"I'm sorry, Lately I've been thoughtless."

"No, this does not count as screen time."

"Let's begin with a deep, slow, cleansing breath, through the nose, to a count of 1-2-3-4."

Working from OM.

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

Guru reading 'Hedonism for Ascetics'

Is this Seat Taken?

'I'll be danged- that's exactly what mom told me.'

Now there's way over a billion of us. What does confucius say about that?

'There are some things in this world that are just not Googleable.'

'I bet I can extinguish my ego before you extinguish YOUR ego!'

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

"Avoid sitting."