Meditation Masters Gifts

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Surfing the daily stress

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Fight or Flight

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"Try thinking about something else."

Mind-Fullness

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Unguided imagery

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

My God, I need to fart.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Cactus seats.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

Yoga.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

Meditation

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

"Showoff"