Meditation Expert Gifts

"Showoff"

'Mountain guru avoids getting killed by falling boulder.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Be Healthy

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Oh, crap.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

Unguided imagery

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Yoga classes door.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Cactus seats.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Stressed over time management

Meditation

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."