Meditation Expert Gifts

"Showoff"

'Mountain guru avoids getting killed by falling boulder.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Be Healthy

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Mind-Fullness

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

My God, I need to fart.

Unguided imagery

Cactus seats.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Yoga.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Stressed over time management

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

Meditation

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'