Mindfulness Master Gifts

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

Most people meditate to seek inner peace, not revenge.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'It says here that the secret to happiness is to enjoy the present.'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

Confusionism: Why am I here?

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

Brain Exercise Video: "Okay, think...and stop...and think, and stop! Stay with me now! Think harder! Feel that burn!"

"Showoff"

"That's Irv. Took a yoga class, emptied his mind, and never refilled it."

"Exercise: Check! Diet: Check! No vices: Check!"

'I want to tap into my higher self.'

Herb has a brief but intense near-life experience.

'This just isn't working - the mountains constantly remind me of the peaks and valleys of a business chart!'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

Therapist psychoanalyses himself.

"I'm sorry, Lately I've been thoughtless."

"You must learn to detach."

'Curb your thoughts' sign.

'Quick! Cover the dish! -- here comes the Dalai Lama!'

Stop thinking!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life - but relax! So is tomorrow!'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Grief counselling'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

Just Be.

Think: Everyone's out to get me.

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"You need to stop being so negative about yourself. It's not good for your self esteem, and quite frankly, it makes you sound like a big loser."

Anxiety Spike

"I feel like my parents didn't want me."

"Remember, loneliness is being alone in bad company. "

"It's amazing how far you can go with a positive attitude."

"Cancel my appointments, I'vestopped watching the news."