Mindfulness Master Gifts

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

Most people meditate to seek inner peace, not revenge.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'It says here that the secret to happiness is to enjoy the present.'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

Confusionism: Why am I here?

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

Brain Exercise Video: "Okay, think...and stop...and think, and stop! Stay with me now! Think harder! Feel that burn!"

'Hey - enlighten up!'

"Showoff"

"Exercise: Check! Diet: Check! No vices: Check!"

'This just isn't working - the mountains constantly remind me of the peaks and valleys of a business chart!'

Herb has a brief but intense near-life experience.

'I want to tap into my higher self.'

"That's Irv. Took a yoga class, emptied his mind, and never refilled it."

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life - but relax! So is tomorrow!'

"Yes, it's damned uncomfortable, but my thinking is so much clearer."

Stop thinking!

"You must learn to detach."

'Quick! Cover the dish! -- here comes the Dalai Lama!'

'Curb your thoughts' sign.

'Grief counselling'

"You need to stop being so negative about yourself. It's not good for your self esteem, and quite frankly, it makes you sound like a big loser."

"I'm sorry, Lately I've been thoughtless."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

Think: Everyone's out to get me.

Therapist psychoanalyses himself.

"I feel like my parents didn't want me."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"Remember, loneliness is being alone in bad company. "

Just Be.

Anxiety Spike