Mindfulness Mentor Gifts

'I'd really appreciate it if you'd refrain from shouting 'KA-CHING!!!' every time you become one with the universe.'

Past, present, future

"What if?"

'Serenity, calmness, peace, nirvana, enlightenment....I just can't take the pressure any more!'

"None of this seems to be doing me any good at all!"

What else is there to wish for?

"Doctor Finkelstein is here to ensure you're not carrying any excess emotional baggage on board."

'Then again, inner peace might not be everything it's cracked up to be either.'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

'I just came up with 910,547 meanings of life!'

'I remember three, but what are the other 162 laws of eternal happiness?'

Anti-depressants: Pull Yourself Together.

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

Cuckoo clock in psychiatrist's room

NIl by 'phone.

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"My Zen garden has been a total nightmare."

Where your mind & battle are los

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Turn, turn and turn.

Surfing the daily stress

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

Fight or Flight

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

My God, I need to fart.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

Meditation

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"Yet she never gains an ounce."