Medication Musings Gifts

'THis probably won't work, but we do have medications that will take care of the side effects.'

'I know what you mean... These things used to help me concentrate. Now they just get me to normal.'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Meds Toast

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

Dear Medication, how are you? I'm feeling much better thanks to you?/ Finally she began responding to treatment.

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

'We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious.'

'Here's an over-the-counter prescription for your nerves. Have your bartender fill it.'

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

"Just call me...Mr. Saturday Night!"

Standup Pharmacist

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

Most common side effects...

R Prescriptions

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."

'Side effects'

'This is a new product - birth control pills shaped like favorite cartoon characters.'

'I've been on this stuff and I'll tell ya, the side effects go great with a bottle of pinot grigio.'

"Of course they're not habit forming, and I should know - I've been taking them for twenty years,"

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."