Medication Skeptic Gifts

"All the ingredients are inactive."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'Too much Omega 3.'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

A shrink charges $200 an hour, but double chocolate layer cake is only $19.95.

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

Myth Diagnosis