Pharmaceutical Skeptics Gifts

"You know that drug commercial where everyone is laughing and running around with friends and dogs enjoying the beautiful day? What are they on?"

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'Too much Omega 3.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

GMOs

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

Man robbed by medical center.