Pharma Skeptics Gifts

"Generics of generics -- that's the way we'll go."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Too much Omega 3.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Prescription Drugs '96.

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

"Your insurance company decided the heart surgery isn't necessary, but they said they'd approve breast augmentation."

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

GMOs

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'