Medication Skeptic Pillows

"All the ingredients are inactive."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Too much Omega 3.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

A shrink charges $200 an hour, but double chocolate layer cake is only $19.95.

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'