Medication Misadventures Gifts

Most common side effects...

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Meds Toast

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

Standup Pharmacist

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

"Just call me...Mr. Saturday Night!"

'It's Mrs Yomp - she can't remember if she should take the aspirin first and call you in the morning, or call you first, then take the aspirin...'

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."

R Prescriptions

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

'Must've pressed the wrong button. Hang on, I'll ask the nurse.'

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."

"Of course they're not habit forming, and I should know - I've been taking them for twenty years,"

'THis probably won't work, but we do have medications that will take care of the side effects.'

"You might wanna lay off the Generics."

'Give me a break! A couple of shirtless construction workers outside the window, and you two completely lose track of what you're doing!'