Medication Mix-ups Gifts

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

'Terrific commercial. I'm sold. You'll start on that medicine immediately.'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

Urban Trail Mix

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

Most common side effects...

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

"I shaved with detergent, did the dishes with shaving cream and showered with dishwasher soap. It all came out the same."

'You're an auto mechanic - are you going to want any of the old parts?'

'You idiot! You didn't tell us this gig was for a marching band! '

"Hand me a number eight iron."

"Viagra looks way too much like Aleve!"