Medical Mix-ups Gifts

'You're an auto mechanic - are you going to want any of the old parts?'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

"Did you accidentally put the DVD of 'Taxi Driver' in her 'Wheels on the Bus' case?"

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

'Strip DOWN to your waist, Mr Yomp, not UP!'

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

'Advanced access' isn't REALLY about you booking an appointment in advance of having anything wrong with you!

"What makes you think you got your medication mixed up with your wife's?"

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

'When I asked if she was critical I didn't mean verbally!'

'No nurse! - I said check their obs!'

'Give me a break! A couple of shirtless construction workers outside the window, and you two completely lose track of what you're doing!'

'He must be allergic to measles. He's come out in spots.'

'Hot! Hot!'

Mrs. Cohen, I'm sorry to tell you you have a tumor. It's in your throat. Let me show you a diagram on the computer. Click. Sorry, I've somehow mixed in my vacation photos. Where was I? @#$% HMO!

Your test results came back, Mr. Fusco. By the way, I can never remember: is "positive" a good thing or a bad thing? ! !

'I've got a hernia.' - 'It's not catching, is it?'

Patient kicks doctor in groin after reflex test.

"We weren't told you had a sick note."