Medication Musings Pillows

'THis probably won't work, but we do have medications that will take care of the side effects.'

'I know what you mean... These things used to help me concentrate. Now they just get me to normal.'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Meds Toast

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

Dear Medication, how are you? I'm feeling much better thanks to you?/ Finally she began responding to treatment.

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

'We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious.'

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

'Here's an over-the-counter prescription for your nerves. Have your bartender fill it.'

'It's Mrs Yomp - she can't remember if she should take the aspirin first and call you in the morning, or call you first, then take the aspirin...'

Standup Pharmacist

"Just call me...Mr. Saturday Night!"

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

R Prescriptions

Most common side effects...

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

'Side effects'

"Of course they're not habit forming, and I should know - I've been taking them for twenty years,"

'I've been on this stuff and I'll tell ya, the side effects go great with a bottle of pinot grigio.'