Medication Savvy Gifts

'Given the medication you're on, Larry, maybe you ought to go home!'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

Meds Toast

Stop smoking,instantly.

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

Theater on meds

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

"I have prescribed something to make you sleep better! Be careful not to take too many! If you do this side effect is headaches!"

"Dad, how do you become a TV reporter?"

Hazmat suit

'Take more vitamins... Well maybe you shouldn't take so many vitamins.'

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

Uncle Sam inside a Ukrainian brain.

Standup Pharmacist

"Just call me...Mr. Saturday Night!"

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

"My advice about all the health foods you've been eating remember, living too long can kill you."

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

"I'm all for having a cheat day while dieting. However, you may be taking it a bit too far."