Medication Label Enthusiast Gifts

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

Meds Toast

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

Dear Medication, how are you? I'm feeling much better thanks to you?/ Finally she began responding to treatment.

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'It's not quite ready. Come back in 15 minutes.'

Chiantis In Translation

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

'I own Acme Drug stock, so fill this prescription with their product.'

'My portfolio is doing well after they injected it with the right combination of pharmaceuticals.'

I won THAT Pulitzer for a drug name.

"The sleeping pills take time to work. Don't expect results overnight."

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

'Can't you come up with something more elegant than 'Dave's Homemade Booze'?'

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

"Would you like to supersize that?"

'It's Mrs Yomp - she can't remember if she should take the aspirin first and call you in the morning, or call you first, then take the aspirin...'