Medication Mishap Fan Gifts

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

"Trepanning for gold"

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Obstetrics.

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

'If they weren't so damned good we might feel a bit more excited about the figures.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

From now on, the rats that get steroids don't have to run the maze.

"Here's a list of drug companies in my stock portfolio - could you prescribe something made by one of them?"

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

'Side effects? You have to worry about side effects?'

'Science will never find a cure for the common cold, That's all the job security I need,'

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

"I assure you the drug was tested by several mice before they died."

Sling

'Pharmaceutical stocks gave the market a real shot in the arm today...'

'Since when have they started advertising placebos on TV?'

'That's great, but it was supposed to be a laxative.'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

Head in the sand.