Medical Typist Gifts

"It appears my wrong diagnosis was cancelled out by the medical typist's lack of vocabulary, so statistically your health has never been better."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Italica

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

Sign Reform

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

"Who's the idiot who filed Phil under F?"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

The Graphic Designers EYE EXAM

'How could Homer write The Iliad and The Odyssey with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a computer?'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

Wussapalooka

School of Arts and Sciences.

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

Francis Picabia

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

'I told you. . . H not S!'

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'I typed it that way because I thought that punctuation would just slow it down.'

'So, the memo said, 'twenty-one gnu salute' huh?'

The origins of bullet points.

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

Alphabet Soup: Now in a bold new font.

I've given up on my youthful dreams of having a big income, a big house and a big car. At this point, I've settled for having a BIG FONT.