Medical Professional Day Gifts

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

A midwife holding a baby

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Medical personnel give their hearts

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'