Medical Professional Day Gifts

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Ice Cream Surgeon

A midwife holding a baby

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

Medical personnel give their hearts

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

"Surgery up here is free!"

"WHich one is mine?"

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."