Medical Appreciation Week Gifts

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Long shift?'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"Turn your head and cough."

Separation

Healthcare declaration

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Thank you

'Every pacemaker recipient is required to carry jumper cables...'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Ummm, hold up a second, old chum . . ."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

"Forget about the raise."

"Preparing for another day nursing?"

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

I knew you wouldn't want your signature on such a messy looking letter, so I signed it myself.

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

Nurse has painted target of patient's butt.

'Benson, when I asked for your 'undivided attention', I meant that more as a figure of speech.'

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).