Medical Appreciation Gifts

The Children's Hospital

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Long shift?'

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

"Turn your head and cough."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

Covid vaccines

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'

Paramedics.

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

"I THINK I've got an app for that!"

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"When they develop their own gravitational field it's a clear warning sign of getting type 2 diabetes."

"It's inoperable and perennial."

'My 'friend' has this problem, Doctor!'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

'You carry a rabbit's foot — well, that explains the rabbit fever.'

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'You are a very good doctor. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'