Veterinary Appreciation Week Gifts

'Did you get fixed, too?'

Separation

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Your love gives me strength."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

Examination.

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"Actually, there's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Every pacemaker recipient is required to carry jumper cables...'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.