Nurse Appreciation Week Gifts

Nurse has painted target of patient's butt.

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'Bad news, your blood group has been discontinued.'

"She'll be with you in a minute ... she's nursing a grudge."

'Nurse, we think you might be getting a little too close to the patient.'

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'Every pacemaker recipient is required to carry jumper cables...'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

'You're the best nurse I've ever had Ruth Ann...And I'm just sick about it.'

"Preparing for another day nursing?"

If this is a private room, how did YOU get in here?

Nurse's Aide Station

'Give you a few tongue depressors and you're good for the afternoon.'

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Keyworker

Medical personnel give their hearts

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Long shift?'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist