Nurses Day Gifts

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

The Crimean War and Florence Nightingale

"They're to remind me to change your bandages."

"Your blood pressure is hitting the jackpot today."

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Nurses make it better.

'I just need you to make notes on the chart, so that I know the patient is breathing and all.'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Nurses watching America's Funniest Bandage Removals.

'Get this, Dr. Melroy just asked my opinion.'

"Nurse, I said 'boil' the instruments, not 'fry' the instruments."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Keyworker

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Medical personnel give their hearts

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "