Nurse Recognition Day Gifts

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Keyworker

Medical personnel give their hearts

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Loyalty Award

'Long shift?'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Employee of the Month

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

Cuba applauds its doctors

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

'Every pacemaker recipient is required to carry jumper cables...'

Penguin of the Month.