Nurse Recognition Day Gifts

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Keyworker

Medical personnel give their hearts

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Loyalty Award

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Long shift?'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

Employee of the Month

Cuba applauds its doctors

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Infectious Diseases Unit: Catch of the Day

Penguin of the Month.