National Healthcare Day Gifts

"We have a catastrophic healthcare plan. Our out-of-pocket costs are catastrophic to our bank balance."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Be Healthy

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Medical personnel give their hearts

Keyworker

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

Cuba prevails over the Covid 19

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

Healthcare declaration

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Cuba applauds its doctors

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

Mental health

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"Preparing for another day nursing?"

'Get this, Dr. Melroy just asked my opinion.'

Nurse has painted target of patient's butt.

The Crimean War and Florence Nightingale

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"Nurse, I said 'boil' the instruments, not 'fry' the instruments."