Administrative Professionals Day Gifts

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"I can see you and I'm still too busy."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"And if you press that one, someone will come in and tell you what a good job you're doing,"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"From nine until one, you'll be getting nothing done. From one until five, you'll be asking yourself how that was possible."

Attack of the 50 foot administrative professional.

The Bear Fax.

God's Office.

'Could you read that back to me, please?'

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

'... and with the advent of Email, fax machines, cellphones and Blackberry's, more and more executives are working from home.'

He was the kind of boss who evoked extreme emotions.

Multitasking

"Great, only 1,692,358 emails."

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

Ordnance: 'explode...implode'.

'I wish I could be your boss for a week and you could be the secretary.'

Your job...is to make sure nothing ever gets to this desk

Hug therapy for the lonely at-the-top executives.

In/Out Tray.

'How are we spelling Dear?'

'It's three-fifteen, sir - You're scheduled to do something spontaneous.'

Stress and Relief Desk Organizers.

'get me some important papers to shuffle.'

"Look, I can snap my gum, my knuckles, or my temper...take your pick."

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

Suggestion Box: Get On With Your Work!

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"I didn't insult or hit you and I didn't fire you today. That's enough praise."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"Thanks for offering to help with my project load. I just put forty on your desk."

Employee lays in his 'OUT' box

"Some e-mails just can't be ignored!"

"Managing a complex project in these fractious times requires imagination, the first thing I’d like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."