Office Appreciation Day Gifts

"This office has sick building syndrome. It phoned yesterday using a croaky voice to say It wasn't coming in."

Some people are in worse condition than this poor cactus.

"Jenny, please scan all this data and present it digital form."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'