Colleague Appreciation Day Gifts

'Boss, if I've asked you once, I've asked you a thousand times -- Please don't call me at work!'

'Sometimes I wonder what I's do without you!'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."