Manager's Day Gifts

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'

Team Leader

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Staff support"

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'But I digress...'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Golfing Boss

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."