Boss Day Gifts

"Shall make another pot?"

'Money won't make you happy, Waldron, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you prozac.'

Boss - New employees flourish when we treat them like mushrooms...keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em lots of manure...

"What do you prefer to improve your motivation?"

"His leadership never fails. He waits for his followers to tell him what to do."

'Another rough day, sir? Can I give you a little push to the elevator?'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

When Policy Fails Try Thinking,

"It helps me stay focused."

"I'm looking at your timesheet here. Clock watching two hours a day."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

E-mail

Hug therapy for the lonely at-the-top executives.

Think outside the box?? Where do you want me to go?

"I'm the best candidate."

In/Out.

Wadder

"That's the last time I make a personal call on company time"

'How are we spelling Dear?'

'I'm not paid enough to fail.'

A man stealing another person's ideas

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'I'm trying to convince people that I'm worth not liking.'

'As you know, we're very flexible. That's why you should get this done before our present company policy changes.'

Some people are in worse condition than this poor cactus.

"It was the boss' suggestion...that I take a working vacation...in the office."

"Now, get down to accounting and find some truffles."

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'