Administrative Professional Gifts

'We put them on the stair master until their paperwork goes through'

'We are a committee of clocks, you idiot. What do you mean you forgot to record the minutes?'

"Normally, having a song stuck in your head isn't considered a disability."

'Steady, we have to catch them in the right mood. Alright, now! Fire those reimbursement requests over!'

Master of Disaster

'This is the Executive Assistants' warmup room.'

Chinese office with folders for Yin and Yang.

"I'd like to reach a higher state of consciousness, without losing, of course, my administrative and fiscal skills."

Attack of the 50 foot administrative professional.

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

Oughta reply

'Toss it in with the others. I'll fetch it when I get to it.'

Due tomorrow. Do tomorrow.

'Always the wise guy.'

"I've just finished that report on 'Cost Savings through Resource Sharing'."

"Ok guys, Let's fill in some forms,"

"As a matter of fact they are my desk jockey wings."

"Yay, we have an agenda for today's meeting!"

Director of Lateral Thinking

Drunken Clerk at alcoholics anonymous sits in front of in/out boxes. In box is full of wine bottles. Out box is full of empty bottles.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"With all due respect, ma'am, 'secretary' was a lot easier."

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

Dippy secretary.

Over-qualified?

'I work as a personal secretary to a very rich and very busy guy. He doesn't even have the time to eat his breakfast, that's why I've got to do that for him.'

'I'm sorry you're disappointed John but what exactly did you imagine heaven would be like?'

The personal assistant of Mrs. Claus. The worst job at the North Pole?

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"