Medical Paperwork Master Gifts

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

The Buck Never Stops.

Obama Healthcare.

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"When you reach the bottom of the pile, you'll find this week's paycheck."

"We need a better piling system."

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Consortia set to take over

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Victorious Vaccination Campaign

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

'How can I help you? We offer - choice, diversity or competition.'

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

Bureau of Red Tape

"Not every day you get a health minister in the surgery..."