Medical Myth Busters Gifts

'I told you at the start - this drug is still in the experimental stage.'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"My new day job is killing me."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

Medical Curiosities

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

"Look, Phil, I can see your shadow!"

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

The real costs of alternative facts!!

"I'll have an extra large conspiracy burger with anti-semitism, plenty of racism, stupidity and a load of crap."

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

"Where on earth did you read that alcohol is good for you?"

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

"If this toy was made by Santa's elves at the North Pole, how come it says 'Made in China'."

Santa Claus doesn't exist because he got eaten up by zombie elves.

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"