Medical Misinformation Buster Gifts

Man holding container entitled 'Die supplement', with newspaper headline stating 'Vitamin & mineral health risks'.

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"These grapes are a bit funny."

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

Anti-Vaxxers

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

Covid Juggling

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

"When I was your age, I was already carrying several deadly diseases!"

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

'You can't get swine flu from your piggy bank!'

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"

Press reports suggest that caffeine could provide protection against a range of cancers.

"In health news, everything you thought was good for you is now bad for you."

'Are you SURE they're a good source of potassium?'

'It hurts when I do this.'

'Don't believe everything you read on the net.'