Online Health Mythbuster Gifts

'Don't believe everything you read on the net.'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

"My new day job is killing me."

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"Look, Phil, I can see your shadow!"

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

"I'll have an extra large conspiracy burger with anti-semitism, plenty of racism, stupidity and a load of crap."

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

Everything's a joke to you Fuscos! Even water retention! ??

'Well, Mrs. Gilner, comparing the numbers, everything looks great. Your cholesterol is right in line, blood pressure good... you're definitely as healthy as a horse.'

"If this toy was made by Santa's elves at the North Pole, how come it says 'Made in China'."

Santa Claus doesn't exist because he got eaten up by zombie elves.

"I'm not feeling too great. Maybe I'll ask WebMD what's wrong with me."

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"

Press reports suggest that caffeine could provide protection against a range of cancers.

This is not a scam. Send money and receive authentic 'This is Not A Scam' certificate."

Man holding container entitled 'Die supplement', with newspaper headline stating 'Vitamin & mineral health risks'.

The three semi-wise men actually rode alpacas and carried knitted gifts of sweaters, sox and underwear to the arid desert village of Bethlehem...

'No, we don't get frequent flyer miles!'