Medical Misconception Debunker Gifts

'To what do I owe my get-up-and-go? My prostate.'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

"For decades we lemmings have been jumping off cliffs. Dude, it's time to evolve!"

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"Say, Buddy. . . do you pick-ups as well?"

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

Tall stories

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

Do you realise the gravity of this situation?

'I did create man in my image, but man evolved.'

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

"Where on earth did you read that alcohol is good for you?"

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"