Medical Mishap Muse Gifts

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Barbeque Casualty.

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'I can't turn it off.'

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Sling

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

Paramedic Mistakes.

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

'Get a time release capsule stuck in your throat again?'

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

'Yes, we can run a few tests if you insist. But, I'm pretty sure that my initial diagnosis is correct.'

Broken hospital sign.